Hi.

Welcome to a safe place. At Your Pain is Poignant, I recognize the depths of your depression and the bottomless abyss of your angst. My only purpose is to make your experience a beautiful and meaningful one. From providing music to accompany your malaise to sending you the most perfect letters of apology for your most distressing estrangements, Your Pain is Poignant is here for you. I am your friend.

Your Pain is Poignant's three currently offered services are detailed below. Use the Contact tab above to find me.

Soundtrack for Your Life.

Have you ever thought that a particular song described your pain more perfectly than any other song in the whole world? Have you imagined yourself sitting on a park bench, in the movie about your life, at that pivotal moment when the soundtrack told more about your emotional condition than any visuals ever could?

I understand. And I'd like to help you make it real.

Pick a place. It can be any night, between 8pm and 2am. Imagine where you'd like to be. You can be walking down a street or sitting somewhere quietly. The only requirement for the location is that it must be car-accessible; you unfortunately cannot live out your depression in the middle of a field.

Next, tell me what song best describes your pain. This can be any song you like. You can send it to me, or I will find it myself.

Be at the location of your choosing at the scheduled time. I will, discreetly, pull over in my car in a place close to you. We will not interact. I will play your song quite loudly from my vehicle. You will be able to hear it. The people who pass you on the street will be able to hear it too, and they will forever associate your sadness with this song. We will all be joined in a moment created by you. You will not be alone. Please provide me all details (time, location, and song) in an email.

You must live within the Greater Toronto Area. Soundtack for Your Life costs $10 Cdn. Use the Contact tab above to find me.

Letter from Your Wife.

You've just had a fight with your best friend, and they have told you they never want to speak to you again. During your various stages of anger and denial (I forget the other steps but you can easily google them), you imagine receiving a letter from your estranged friend. They are tortured by their feelings of remorse. They treated you unkindly and want nothing more than to apologize to you and do whatever they can to make you feel better. They underestimated you. They said things they never should have said. They miss you.

I understand. I have felt what you have felt. And here is something I can do.

I will write you an affecting and heartfelt letter of apology on behalf of the person who has most mistreated you. If you will provide me your mailing address, the details of your falling-out, and some of your thoughts about the encounter, I will respond to you with handwritten affection, genuine remorse, and attention to your future comfort and happiness. This letter will be of a size that may be folded and kept in a pocket for future reference, laminated, torn up, or photocopied to a size that would best suit your particular wallet. I care about you. I just want to make things better. Letter from Your Wife costs $10 Cdn. Again, hit the Contact tab above to get in touch.

A Friend in Me.

Sometimes when I'm facing one of life's darker moments, I wish I had somebody to confide in. A psychiatrist just won't do. Nor will any of my existing friends - they won't understand. No, I need somebody new. Somebody who exists only for me. Somebody who really cares.

I care about you. I want to know what's going on.

For one week, I will remain 100% committed to you and your current plight. Email me. If you'd like, you can do this several times a day! I will answer each and every one. More than my advice (which admittedly is not always the best), I will offer my complete care. You will be loved, understood, and watched over for 7 days. We can talk on Messenger. As available as I can electronically be to you in text form, I will be. I will not let you down or abandon you. And after one week, I will quietly and gently disappear from your life. We will remain friends in our hearts. We will both have grown, and we will both be special. A Friend in Me costs $10 Cdn. Click on the Contact tab above to begin our friendship.

Payment.

I wish I could offer these services at no cost to you. Unfortunately though, the materials of friendship come with a small price tag. Internet connections, gas, music, pens, and paper have a tendency to pile up. My friendship is sincere, but limits must be clearly defined. You are paying for my ability to stay close to you in tangible ways.

Your Privacy.

Your Pain is Poignant remains sensitive to the fact that depression and angst are emotional states best experienced alone. Your privacy is of the utmost importance. When we arrange your service, we will talk about the level of privacy that suits you best.

 

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